Recently I’ve been faced with a reoccurring fear. I’m afraid of becoming ordinary. I’m afraid of getting too set in my ways and reaching a point where I feel incredibly inconvenienced every time I have to step out of my day-to-day. I’m afraid of my life becoming boring. I’m afraid that I might get too used to doing things the way I always do them and I’ll just become a creature of habit. I’m afraid that I’ll start living life with eyes half open. Or that I already am, and I haven’t even realized it yet.
My reality is that my life is kind of ordinary, but in a beautiful way. I have a child and a fiancé. We live together in our little house and drink coffee on the couch together every Saturday and Sunday morning. We have routines. We don’t live a crazy, luxurious life. But it feels exciting and fun and chaotic all the time. That’s when I realized that this whole uninteresting life, or boring life fear is actually all about perspective. The reality is, you can live any life that you envision for yourself. Here’s how.
Accept the bad days in the same way that you revel in the good days.
Some days are good, some not so good. I often find myself dwelling on the bad days, “Is this my life now? Will I always feel this way?” The answer is obviously a big no, but it can be difficult to see that when you’ve just had a rough day. Try to be patient with yourself and accept the bad days in the same way that you revel in the good days. It’s all just a part of the process.
Find joy in quiet moments.
Silent moments are so vastly underrated. As a society I feel like a lot of us are obsessed with constantly being stimulated in some way, staring at a phone, TV screen, headphones always in, constantly making small talk even if it’s meaningless. I didn’t appreciate quiet time until I had a child and my home became anything but quiet. Yet I still find myself at times taking these moments for granted. Sometimes a quiet evening is perceived in my mind as boring, leading to trivial worries— “is my life boring?” The answer is no, it’s not. Quiet time is so wonderful. Accept it, love it, embrace it.
Never stop appreciating the little things.
Do you have clean water to drink? A roof over your head? A pillow to lay your head at night? If the answer is yes, you’re already 10 steps ahead of a lot of people. Although you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, you should try to always appreciate the little things. We’re constantly surrounded with reasons to jump for joy, it can be easy to forget this sometimes.
Stop letting fear lead the way.
It can be easy to feel afraid of things. I’ve found myself in the past holding back on something because I’m afraid of a negative outcome. I’ve realized that you can never predict the future and if you don’t try you definitely won’t succeed. If you let fear hold you back, you’re letting fear dictate your life.
Get out into the world.
If you’re feeling unfullfilled, bored, stuck, stagnant, you may just need to take a step outside. Like literally, just go out onto your front step. Feel the sun on your face, feel the wind in your hair. It’s grounding to appreciate these things. If you’re feeling ambitious, keep going, keep moving. Go for a walk, a drive, whatever. Just go outside, break the cycle. Leave your place of comfort and don’t stop. Don’t ever get too comfortable, there’s danger in that.
Accept that life is sometimes monotonous.
Whether you want to believe it or not, life will feel monotonous or even a little boring at times and I can let that scare me sometimes. Kind of like feeling resistant to those quiet moments I mentioned earlier. Try to accept these unavoidable moments, understand it’s just a part of life.
Spend less time obsessing over other people’s lives, live for YOU.
Yes, it can be satisfying to just stare at your phone and scroll instagram for a while (especially if you rarely get uninterrupted time to do so). But try to be more intentional with your social media use (I’m reminding myself of this more than anything). How much time do you actually spend scrolling? What are you thinking in those moments? Are you getting inspired and stoked for your friends and family? Or are you comparing yourself and falling into negative thought patterns? I know it can be a slippery slope for me, for sure. If you feel like social media is having a toxic effect maybe take a little break. At the end of the day, if you’re spending all of your free time on social media and letting the views of others influence your life, you’re not living your life. You’re living for someone else. You’re living for these people on social media, whom you may not even know. So you’re living not for them, but for the idea of them that they portray on social media and no one knows how much truth is in that. Yikes.
Shift your perspective, change your life.
At the end of the day, you can be anyone you want to be. You can do anything you want to do. You have endless potential, we all do, and once you shift your perspective you can start to live the life you’ve always dreamed. I’m just speaking from experience. The life I have right now, I literally dreamed it.
I was unhappy for years and year, I dreamed of a relationship like the one I’m in. Then I found it. I dreamed of starting a family (with the right man) and now I have that. I dreamed of traveling, and then I did it (more to come hopefully!). Then I found myself in an unhappy place once again. My mental health was deteriorating as I adjusted to life as a mom. I was too busy, I couldn’t handle working full time, and unfortunately, the career path I had chosen required that. For so long, I didn’t think quitting was an option. I thought that quitting meant I’d have to wait tables again or that I’d be throwing away all of the hard work I had put into getting the job I had. But the reality was, no pay check is worth your mental health.
I felt pulled to write, so I started to write. It started as 10 words a day jotted down in a journal, just random thoughts and sentences. Then I started this blog. I kept going, I had no idea why but I just kept going. Now somehow, it’s blossomed into a full on career change. I write for money, I have multiple clients who I write for regularly. This is completely unrelated to my college degree, yet I made it happen for myself. Six months ago, I didn’t even know it was possible for me to make money as a writer, it sounded unrealistic to me. Now that’s literally what I do.
I dreamed this life for myself, and you can do it too. Whatever your dream is, don’t give up on it, don’t sleep on it. You can do this.